Out of the 25,000 days I'm supposed to live (the average male lifespan is estimated at 72 in the US), this one was pretty busy. I'm working on getting my CRIT (rhetorical criticism) up for the George Mason Speech Tournament next weekend, and the coaches had to start cutting it because it was too long...I hate that part!!! In fact, it got to the point where they even took out the word 'recently'. Honestly, how am I supposed to give a speech without 'recently' in it? You can sat it with a really dramatic effect with just a slight pause and serious tone, and it just fills the room; but alas, 'recently' is no more in the CRIT.
In other news from the world of Barry, there's a really great book out called Stumbling On Happiness by Harvard Pysychologist Daniel Gilbert. In it, he tells us that humans really can't predict what makes them happy, and it is often when we're in the middle of tough situations that we learn to make the best of life's circumstances. One of the examples he uses describes going out on a date versus being married. If you were just going out on a date and a guys picks his nose, you probably wouldn't date the guy again; but if you're married and the guy picks his nose, you tend to be able to overlook it! That kind of oversimplifies his work, but anyways, take a look at it if your interested. It's a great read. Here's his website:
http://www.danielgilbert.com/
Finally, I want to close this out on a positive event. Tonight I went on hospital visitation with my pastor and younger brother and our friend Matt. Instead of going to visit sick people like we usually do, however, we went to see a brand new baby! The baby was born while we were in the waiting area, and the lullaby theme started playing over the loudspeakers, and then we got to peek through the windows to see the nurses giving the baby its shot and bath...I made a bet that the baby would be born at 8:19, but instead it was born at 8:13, so I lost five bucks, but it was worth it! The little girl's name is Aleshia Jewell. I'm kind of fond of the deeper meaning of life and all that sentimental stuff, but tonight it really stuck with me that in the midst of a world where violence is common and no one can agree and where people needlessly suffer, there's still hope as new life comes into the world. I thought about all the great joys that baby is going to have over her lifetime. It was a great experience.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Friday, August 18, 2006
Lincoln - Part 3
Lincoln’s compassion also helped him to keep a proper perspective and to recognize the gravity of the war. There were times during his Presidency that the White House was simply too much of a burden for him to live in, and he would often seek refuge outside the mansion to compose himself and focus his mind. In his 2005 book on presidential retreats, From Mount Vernon to Crawford, Kenneth Walsh writes that Lincoln spent almost one-fourth of his Presidency at the Soldiers’ Home, located in a military compound just outside Washington.[i] On the way there, Lincoln would sometimes stop by the “contrabands,” or camps that contained former slaves. He would speak with them and listen to the Negro spirituals such as “Nobody Knows What Trouble I See, but Jesus” and “Every Time I Feel The Spirit.” These stops may have moved Lincoln closer to abolition and sometimes moved him to tears.[ii] At other times, he would stop by the soldiers’ encampment and talk with the troops, sometimes having coffee and eating beans with them. He always seemed to express concern over the soldiers, and he was genuinely interested in their lives. One soldier remarked, “We always felt that the President took a personal interest in us. He never spoke absent-mindedly, but talked to the men as if he were thinking of them.”[iii] Lincoln’s compassion for his fellow man always kept him mindful of the situation at hand, and he realized the importance of ending the war for the survival of all.
Lincoln’s compassion may have been his greatest strength, but it was his humor that probably helped this President keep his sanity. As has been noted by many historians, Lincoln suffered with severe bouts of depression and a prolonged sadness over his lifetime. Part of this may have stemmed from his childhood: he lost his mother and two sisters before he was nineteen, and later nearly became suicidal over the death of his fiancé, Ann Rutledge.[iv] He lost one of his sons during his Presidency, and going through the bloodiest war in American history certainly did not help anything and caused Lincoln no end of anguish and grief. But to his credit, Lincoln understood his depression, which he referred to as “the hypo.”[v] He may have used humor to relieve these moods. He would sometimes joke about life, perhaps in an effort to shine some light in the otherwise dark universe of his mind. Usually, these jokes were self-deprecating: Lincoln once told the story of riding along his law circuit and being stopped by a stranger. “Excuse me, sir,” the stranger had said, “but I have an article in my possession which belongs to you.” “How is that?” Lincoln had replied. The stranger reached for a jackknife in his pocket. “This knife was placed in my hands some years ago, with the injunction that I was to keep it until I had found a man uglier than myself. I have carried it from that time to this. Allow me to say, sir, that I think you are fairly entitled to the property.”[vi] Lincoln got a laugh out of this story and always enjoyed telling jokes on himself.
However, Lincoln did not simply use his personality for his own entertainment; he utilized it to win friends and diffuse tough situations. Once, Lincoln was walking down the street and looked up to see a man with a gun pointed at him. Trying to analyze the situation and be as calm as possible, he asked the man, “What seems to be the matter?” The stranger replied, “Well, some years ago I swore an oath that if I ever came across an uglier man than myself I’d shoot him on the spot.” Realizing that this would be the perfect time to ease the tension, Lincoln replied, “Shoot me, for if I am an uglier man than you I don’t want to live.”[vii] His humor often helped him survive tough situations. He could also use humor to illustrate a point. During his law days, Lincoln was once pleading a case and was losing the argument. The other lawyer had all the advantages and was beating him on many points. It was a hot day, and Lincoln’s opponent had taken off his coat and vest and wrapped it behind him. Knowing that this would be the perfect opportunity to get the attention of the crowd, he appealed to the standards of the day. “Gentlemen of the jury,” he began, “having justice on my side, I don’t think you will be at all influenced by the gentleman’s pretended knowledge of the law, when you see he does not even know which side of his shirt should be in front.”[viii] Lincoln got a huge laugh and promptly won the case. He was able to use laughter to break down barriers and win people over to his arguments, a trait that would become extremely handy later in life.
Bibliography
[i] Kenneth Walsh, From Mount Vernon To Crawford (New York: Hyperion, 2005), 55.
[ii] Walsh, 57.
[iii] Walsh, 59-60.
[iv] Ewers, 68.
[v] Ibid.
[vi] McClure, 361.
[vii] McClure, 20.
[viii] McClure, 21.
Lincoln’s compassion may have been his greatest strength, but it was his humor that probably helped this President keep his sanity. As has been noted by many historians, Lincoln suffered with severe bouts of depression and a prolonged sadness over his lifetime. Part of this may have stemmed from his childhood: he lost his mother and two sisters before he was nineteen, and later nearly became suicidal over the death of his fiancé, Ann Rutledge.[iv] He lost one of his sons during his Presidency, and going through the bloodiest war in American history certainly did not help anything and caused Lincoln no end of anguish and grief. But to his credit, Lincoln understood his depression, which he referred to as “the hypo.”[v] He may have used humor to relieve these moods. He would sometimes joke about life, perhaps in an effort to shine some light in the otherwise dark universe of his mind. Usually, these jokes were self-deprecating: Lincoln once told the story of riding along his law circuit and being stopped by a stranger. “Excuse me, sir,” the stranger had said, “but I have an article in my possession which belongs to you.” “How is that?” Lincoln had replied. The stranger reached for a jackknife in his pocket. “This knife was placed in my hands some years ago, with the injunction that I was to keep it until I had found a man uglier than myself. I have carried it from that time to this. Allow me to say, sir, that I think you are fairly entitled to the property.”[vi] Lincoln got a laugh out of this story and always enjoyed telling jokes on himself.
However, Lincoln did not simply use his personality for his own entertainment; he utilized it to win friends and diffuse tough situations. Once, Lincoln was walking down the street and looked up to see a man with a gun pointed at him. Trying to analyze the situation and be as calm as possible, he asked the man, “What seems to be the matter?” The stranger replied, “Well, some years ago I swore an oath that if I ever came across an uglier man than myself I’d shoot him on the spot.” Realizing that this would be the perfect time to ease the tension, Lincoln replied, “Shoot me, for if I am an uglier man than you I don’t want to live.”[vii] His humor often helped him survive tough situations. He could also use humor to illustrate a point. During his law days, Lincoln was once pleading a case and was losing the argument. The other lawyer had all the advantages and was beating him on many points. It was a hot day, and Lincoln’s opponent had taken off his coat and vest and wrapped it behind him. Knowing that this would be the perfect opportunity to get the attention of the crowd, he appealed to the standards of the day. “Gentlemen of the jury,” he began, “having justice on my side, I don’t think you will be at all influenced by the gentleman’s pretended knowledge of the law, when you see he does not even know which side of his shirt should be in front.”[viii] Lincoln got a huge laugh and promptly won the case. He was able to use laughter to break down barriers and win people over to his arguments, a trait that would become extremely handy later in life.
Bibliography
[i] Kenneth Walsh, From Mount Vernon To Crawford (New York: Hyperion, 2005), 55.
[ii] Walsh, 57.
[iii] Walsh, 59-60.
[iv] Ewers, 68.
[v] Ibid.
[vi] McClure, 361.
[vii] McClure, 20.
[viii] McClure, 21.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Lincoln - Part 2
Although Lincoln led his life with integrity, it was his compassion that allowed him to serve others. Lincoln had a natural sense of empathy and could connect with his fellow citizens in a way that many of his predecessors could not. He needed this emotional strength in order to win over others. In a soon to be published book, Team of Rivals (excerpts of which were published in Time magazine), author Doris Kearns Goodwin notes that while Lincoln was certainly a good speaker and an above-average lawyer, hardly anything was known about him when he was elected President and took the train to Washington.[i] He needed a voice that would enable him to connect with those who did not know him. Lincoln was able to effectively put himself in the place of others, to understand their ideas and concerns, to advise without being judgmental, to admonish without condemning, and to listen with an open mind. For example, Lincoln’s role as the rescuer for the slaves is largely misunderstood. He was not always planning to free them, but rather wanted to attempt to stop slavery from spreading or maybe purchase their freedom. Although personally against slavery, he fully understood the South’s argument that slavery was necessary for their lifestyle and refused to condemn them for it because he knew it would not advance the cause of freedom.[ii] He argued that instead of condemning the slave owners, we should try to understand their position. He once explained, “They are just what we would be in their situation. If slavery did not now exist amongst them, they would not introduce it. If it did now exist among us, we should not instantly give it up.”[iii] Instead of condemning one another, Lincoln believed that men should aim for the hearts of their opponents, appealing to their humanity and desire for good will. He was able to bring both sides into the conversation and was admired and respected for it. With the ability to sense the attitudes and mindsets of his fellow Americans, Lincoln was able to choose the best time and place for progress to be made.
Lincoln’s compassion also helped him to keep a proper perspective and to recognize the gravity of the war. There were times during his Presidency that the White House was simply too much of a burden for him to live in, and he would often seek refuge outside the mansion to compose himself and focus his mind. In his 2005 book on presidential retreats, From Mount Vernon to Crawford, Kenneth Walsh writes that Lincoln spent almost one-fourth of his Presidency at the Soldiers’ Home, located in a military compound just outside Washington.[iv] On the way there, Lincoln would sometimes stop by the “contrabands,” or camps that contained former slaves. He would speak with them and listen to the Negro spirituals such as “Nobody Knows What Trouble I See, but Jesus” and “Every Time I Feel The Spirit.” These stops may have moved Lincoln closer to abolition and sometimes moved him to tears.[v] At other times, he would stop by the soldiers’ encampment and talk with the troops, sometimes having coffee and eating beans with them. He always seemed to express concern over the soldiers, and he was genuinely interested in their lives. One soldier remarked, “We always felt that the President took a personal interest in us. He never spoke absent-mindedly, but talked to the men as if he were thinking of them.”[vi] Lincoln’s compassion for his fellow man always kept him mindful of the situation at hand, and he realized the importance of ending the war for the survival of all.
Bibliography
[i] Goodwin, 48.
[ii] Goodwin, 49.
[iii] Ibid
[iv] Kenneth Walsh, From Mount Vernon To Crawford (New York: Hyperion, 2005), 55.
[v] Walsh, 57.
[vi] Walsh, 59-60.
Lincoln’s compassion also helped him to keep a proper perspective and to recognize the gravity of the war. There were times during his Presidency that the White House was simply too much of a burden for him to live in, and he would often seek refuge outside the mansion to compose himself and focus his mind. In his 2005 book on presidential retreats, From Mount Vernon to Crawford, Kenneth Walsh writes that Lincoln spent almost one-fourth of his Presidency at the Soldiers’ Home, located in a military compound just outside Washington.[iv] On the way there, Lincoln would sometimes stop by the “contrabands,” or camps that contained former slaves. He would speak with them and listen to the Negro spirituals such as “Nobody Knows What Trouble I See, but Jesus” and “Every Time I Feel The Spirit.” These stops may have moved Lincoln closer to abolition and sometimes moved him to tears.[v] At other times, he would stop by the soldiers’ encampment and talk with the troops, sometimes having coffee and eating beans with them. He always seemed to express concern over the soldiers, and he was genuinely interested in their lives. One soldier remarked, “We always felt that the President took a personal interest in us. He never spoke absent-mindedly, but talked to the men as if he were thinking of them.”[vi] Lincoln’s compassion for his fellow man always kept him mindful of the situation at hand, and he realized the importance of ending the war for the survival of all.
Bibliography
[i] Goodwin, 48.
[ii] Goodwin, 49.
[iii] Ibid
[iv] Kenneth Walsh, From Mount Vernon To Crawford (New York: Hyperion, 2005), 55.
[v] Walsh, 57.
[vi] Walsh, 59-60.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Abraham Lincoln - Part 1
“Four score and seven years ago…” On a chilly fall day in November 1863, the President of the United States, in a bloody field of a small farm town in southern Pennsylvania, began his two-minute speech with these words. But it wasn’t just Abraham Lincoln’s words that made the Gettysburg Address one of the greatest orations in American history. It was the man behind those words. Revered by many, despised by some, overrated by others, Abraham Lincoln remains one of the most famous icons the United States has ever produced, and historians consider him to be one of our most influential Presidents. But what was it that made Lincoln thrive? After all, the only history he had on his national political resume when elected to the White House was two years in Congress (a term ended almost twelve years beforehand) and not one but two failed senate races.[i] With almost no formal education, the sixteenth Commander-in-Chief is largely credited with abolishing slavery and keeping our country unified, but what made him so successful was not the position he held or the power he possessed, but rather some personal qualities that he developed over his lifetime. Although the man was completely human, several character traits can be claimed that enabled this master politician and natural leader to work to keep our nation united. We will look at a few of these qualities to find the secret to his success: Integrity, Compassion, Humor, and Resolve.
Born near Hodgenville, Kentucky in 1809, Lincoln grew up dirt-poor with little formal education. From a young age, he learned the value of integrity through hard work and was proficient with an ax.[ii] The family would move several times before finally landing in Illinois. When asked about his early childhood, he gave this response: “The short and simple annals of the poor. That’s my life, and that’s all you or anybody else can make of it.”[iii] With little encouragement from his father, Lincoln educated himself through reading. In fact, Lincoln was so driven to educate himself that he would often ask questions invoking the smallest details and would become irritated when adults talked down to him. Biographer Stephen B. Oates notes that as a boy, Lincoln would insist on understanding every part of a subject, and once he had found the answers he would repeat them to himself over and over again, memorizing the information as best he could.[iv] Believing that education was the key to success, Lincoln learned integrity by being industrious, a trait that would serve him the rest of his life.
Lincoln also learned the honor with which integrity leads. Although the popular concept of “Honest Abe” may or may not have historical merits, Lincoln’s honor came through experience. As a young lawyer/congressman from Illinois, Lincoln often wrote anonymous articles on behalf of his Whig party that exposed the Democratic position. Sometimes, though, Lincoln could cross the line and engage in low-life politics.[v]
However, an interesting event taught Lincoln a valuable lesson. Lincoln once wrote a disparaging article about the Democratic state auditor, a Mr. Shields, and along with other things, reportedly wrote that this man was “a fool as well as a liar.”[vi] Mr. Shields found out that Lincoln was responsible for the letter and promptly challenged him to a duel. Alexander McClure recounts that Lincoln accepted the challenge, and the two men, along with their respective witnesses, went across the state line to Missouri, since dueling was prohibited in Illinois. Along the way, however, their friends talked them out of fighting, and the duel was called off. Lincoln told Shields’ friends that nothing personal was intended, and the two men went about their business.[vii] Lincoln’s personal thoughts on this event are not extensive, but it apparently had a significant impact on him. Lincoln rarely wrote another disparaging article, and never again would he delve into those kinds of politics. As President, he deplored anyone who tried to engage in this kind of mudslinging. When asked about this event later in his life, Lincoln replied, “I do not deny it, but if you desire my friendship, you will never mention it again.”[viii] He learned to preserve the honor of the individual. Integrity would become a character trait that his political friends and foes alike admired in him.
Bibliography
[i] Doris Goodwin, “The Master of the Game,” Time Special Issue, July 4, 2005, 48-54.
[ii] Justin Ewers, “The Real Lincoln,” U.S. News & World Report 6 (2005): 66-74. www.epnet.com/ (accessed July 14, 2005)
[iii] Ewers, 66.
[iv] Stephen Oates, With Malice Toward None (New York: Harper & Row, 1977), 10.
[v] Ewers, 71.
[vi] Ibid.
[vii] Alexander McClure, Lincoln’s Own Yarns and Stories (Chicago: John C. Winston Company, 1901), 19-20.
[viii] Ewers, 71.
Born near Hodgenville, Kentucky in 1809, Lincoln grew up dirt-poor with little formal education. From a young age, he learned the value of integrity through hard work and was proficient with an ax.[ii] The family would move several times before finally landing in Illinois. When asked about his early childhood, he gave this response: “The short and simple annals of the poor. That’s my life, and that’s all you or anybody else can make of it.”[iii] With little encouragement from his father, Lincoln educated himself through reading. In fact, Lincoln was so driven to educate himself that he would often ask questions invoking the smallest details and would become irritated when adults talked down to him. Biographer Stephen B. Oates notes that as a boy, Lincoln would insist on understanding every part of a subject, and once he had found the answers he would repeat them to himself over and over again, memorizing the information as best he could.[iv] Believing that education was the key to success, Lincoln learned integrity by being industrious, a trait that would serve him the rest of his life.
Lincoln also learned the honor with which integrity leads. Although the popular concept of “Honest Abe” may or may not have historical merits, Lincoln’s honor came through experience. As a young lawyer/congressman from Illinois, Lincoln often wrote anonymous articles on behalf of his Whig party that exposed the Democratic position. Sometimes, though, Lincoln could cross the line and engage in low-life politics.[v]
However, an interesting event taught Lincoln a valuable lesson. Lincoln once wrote a disparaging article about the Democratic state auditor, a Mr. Shields, and along with other things, reportedly wrote that this man was “a fool as well as a liar.”[vi] Mr. Shields found out that Lincoln was responsible for the letter and promptly challenged him to a duel. Alexander McClure recounts that Lincoln accepted the challenge, and the two men, along with their respective witnesses, went across the state line to Missouri, since dueling was prohibited in Illinois. Along the way, however, their friends talked them out of fighting, and the duel was called off. Lincoln told Shields’ friends that nothing personal was intended, and the two men went about their business.[vii] Lincoln’s personal thoughts on this event are not extensive, but it apparently had a significant impact on him. Lincoln rarely wrote another disparaging article, and never again would he delve into those kinds of politics. As President, he deplored anyone who tried to engage in this kind of mudslinging. When asked about this event later in his life, Lincoln replied, “I do not deny it, but if you desire my friendship, you will never mention it again.”[viii] He learned to preserve the honor of the individual. Integrity would become a character trait that his political friends and foes alike admired in him.
Bibliography
[i] Doris Goodwin, “The Master of the Game,” Time Special Issue, July 4, 2005, 48-54.
[ii] Justin Ewers, “The Real Lincoln,” U.S. News & World Report 6 (2005): 66-74. www.epnet.com/ (accessed July 14, 2005)
[iii] Ewers, 66.
[iv] Stephen Oates, With Malice Toward None (New York: Harper & Row, 1977), 10.
[v] Ewers, 71.
[vi] Ibid.
[vii] Alexander McClure, Lincoln’s Own Yarns and Stories (Chicago: John C. Winston Company, 1901), 19-20.
[viii] Ewers, 71.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Standing For Principle
Two weeks after his surrender at Appomattox Courthouse, Robert E. Lee found himself in an Episcopalian church one Sunday morning, a service that he rarely failed to attend. During the service, an African-American walked in and sat down toward the back of the church. The congregation murmured among themselves, wondering what to do. This had never happened before, and many of the people were in shock. Toward the end of the service, as is tradition in the Episcopal church, the rector called the people forward for communion. The African-American was the first to go forward. The people had no idea what to do. This was an entirely new situation for them, and most certainly went against their pompous tradition. As the rector finished his prayer, the people looked up, and there, kneeling with the African-American, was none other than Robert E. Lee. One of the elders came forward after the service and asked the famous general, “Mr. Lee? What are you doing kneeling with that black man?” Lee stood up in his erect posture, looked the man in the eye, and in that rich Southern drawl responded, “Sir, at the foot of the cross, there’s equal ground.”
This story perfectly represents the Robert E. Lee that biographer Emory Thomas presents, the man who, forced to fight on the side of his homeland, nevertheless goes forward and proudly stands up for what he believes.
Robert E. Lee faced conflicts, as all of us do. He had a father who wasn’t there, a wife who was an invalid, children that didn't obey, and a country that rejected him at the end of his life; yet his legacy endures. What made him so successful was not that he managed to free himself from all troubles, but the fact that he found out how to endure them. In a letter to a friend, Thomas records Lee’s words: “Live in the world you inhabit…When a thing is done we ought always make the best of it…We make a great deal of our own happiness and misery in this world…turn your affliction to your benefit.”[i] The advice still rings true today.
Bibliography
Thomas, Emory M. Robert E. Lee: A Biography. New York: Norton, 1995.
[i] Thomas, 171.
This story perfectly represents the Robert E. Lee that biographer Emory Thomas presents, the man who, forced to fight on the side of his homeland, nevertheless goes forward and proudly stands up for what he believes.
Robert E. Lee faced conflicts, as all of us do. He had a father who wasn’t there, a wife who was an invalid, children that didn't obey, and a country that rejected him at the end of his life; yet his legacy endures. What made him so successful was not that he managed to free himself from all troubles, but the fact that he found out how to endure them. In a letter to a friend, Thomas records Lee’s words: “Live in the world you inhabit…When a thing is done we ought always make the best of it…We make a great deal of our own happiness and misery in this world…turn your affliction to your benefit.”[i] The advice still rings true today.
Bibliography
Thomas, Emory M. Robert E. Lee: A Biography. New York: Norton, 1995.
[i] Thomas, 171.
Introduction
Greetings!
Welcome to the inaugural edition of Tell Me A Story, a site dedicated to preserving the tradition of narrative storytelling. The purpose of this weblog is threefold: 1. to present true, inspiring stories that aren't necessarily well-known; 2. to publish timely commentary on issues affecting our world (or sometimes just mine!); and 3. to post ideas or insights that may be of encouraging value to those who read them. The author does not in any way, shape, or form claim to be the all-knowing, all-seeing blogger, as some citizen journalists tend to view their postings; rather, consider this site a break from a society that sometimes enjoys tearing people down; this is a place to build people up :0)
Check back soon for posts!
Welcome to the inaugural edition of Tell Me A Story, a site dedicated to preserving the tradition of narrative storytelling. The purpose of this weblog is threefold: 1. to present true, inspiring stories that aren't necessarily well-known; 2. to publish timely commentary on issues affecting our world (or sometimes just mine!); and 3. to post ideas or insights that may be of encouraging value to those who read them. The author does not in any way, shape, or form claim to be the all-knowing, all-seeing blogger, as some citizen journalists tend to view their postings; rather, consider this site a break from a society that sometimes enjoys tearing people down; this is a place to build people up :0)
Check back soon for posts!
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